Tucson - We have a problem

So I've been living with my roommate for exactly one week and since we don't really see each other and since I have been working really long hours really late nights I haven't really been in the apt except to sleep and watch you tubes episodes of the Nanny before I fall asleep.

I have had 2 bad roommate instances in 7 days...this is not a good ratio and I don't even know math. I will explain what happened Tuesday which I ignored and then what happened last night which I could not ignore and had to share with you all.

Tue 10/23/12 appx 7:48pm:
I return home from the gym to discover my roommate looking into one of his various measuring cups he keeps in the apt. Oh, I didn't mention that before? My roommate has about 30 different measuring cups in a cabinet in our kitchen. At first I thought, some people collect shot glasses it's not a big deal. Now we already did our happy-go-lucky Costco trip as roommates and stocked up on various essentials so please note there is NO sole ownership in anything I'm about to describe...except the measuring cups.

Me:
Hey there!

Roommate:
Um, hi

Me:
What's wrong?

Roommate:
We're out of cereal

Me:
Oh?? Did you want me to go get more?

Roommate:
I don't think you understand the problem

Me:
You're right...I don't

Roommate:
The serving size on this box says this should serve 12 8oz bowls of cereal. We just bought it on Friday. Now if we each have one bowl of cereal a day at 8oz this box should have lasted us until Thursday but it hasnt. I imagine you don't even measure out your cereal do you?

Me (in my mind...playing the scene from Mean Girls where Lindsay Lohan jumps across the table to kick Rachel McAdams ass)
I do not measure my cereal, no.

Roommate:
Ok (holds the bridge of his nose with his fingers) well...I figured you'd use the measuring cups in the cabinet and we wouldn't have to have this conversation but apparently that's not the case. Let' talk.

He then proceeds to explain WHY he uses measuring cups (not for dieting purposes but for fiscal purposes) HOW he uses the measuring cups (some are for dry foods and others are for liquid) and WHY I SHOULD use measuring cups for my food (he pointed out it might help me lose weight if I used portion control...fucking queen).

The Enemy

So...that happened and I decided it wasn't a line in the sand and I am just going to have to buy my own box of Special K and he can live in Science Land and LIVE WILDLY and pour my cereal straight into the bowl....I'm such a bad ass.

THEN LAST NIGHT...I come home from my work event at about 11:30pm MST and the temperature in the desert had dropped dramatically. It went from about 90 degrees to 60 degrees in a matter of hours. YES BOSTON PEOPLE I realize that's not 'cold' but in AZ that's the temperature at which the elderly start to die.

I open my apt door, put my work bag down, searched for the light switch and illuminated my very dark apt.

There was my roommate...reading a book...PERCHED ONTOP OF THE REFRIGERATOR!

WTF is wrong with this kid. I thought he maybe had taken some bad Peyote so I carefully asked him if he was alright. "I'm fine. Did you know that the discharge of heat from the top of the refrigerator is directly proportionate to BLAH BLAH BLAH BLAH"

You're sitting on my refrigerator reading you psycho!! Don't you have a space heater? A blanket? A sweater perhaps? I know you certainly do not have friends to invite to their warm house because they are probably studying somewhere...perhaps in frozen food section of Super Stop&Shop.

I hate you.

HAPPY FRIDAY!!