So long story short, I got a roommate. Now, if you know ANYTHING about me you will know that I'm an extremely social and extroverted to the point of insanity. I meet this girl at the U of A (University of Arizona) and we start talking and she says she's looking for someone to takeover her lease on her 2br/2ba for $430/month. After I was done laughing in her face at how cheap that number is...I ask her what area of town it's in thinking that its in the middle of the ghetto and she tells me it's actually in a nice area. Ok kids, pop quiz...what's wrong with this picture...nice apt, cheap ass rent in a nice area of town?? DING DING DING the roommate :0)
I ask her what her roommates name is since she tells me they went to highschool togther and she says "ummm...Justin?" Wait, you don't know your own roommates name and you went to highschool together? I can remember the names of my friends parents from the Matignon Drama Club (what up Teresa Christopher) and you don't know the person you live with?
Red Flag #1.
I ask if I can meet Justin and she says "sure, here is his number...you guys will totally get along...he's gay too" what? we're penguins? you think we all look the same and just because we hang out on the same glacier we're going to be life partners? No wonder why you failed out of college bitch.
Text 1 Me:
Hi Justin, this is Glitter; your roommate Ariel told me you were looking for a roommate so I just wanted to know if we could grab a drink and meet up. Saw the apt and I love it and I hope we can make this work.
Roommate:
Ja, but this Mike.
Me:
Oh, I'm sorry...I was looking for Justin
Roommate:
This is Justin, but my name is Mike now.
Me:
Oh.
Roommate:
I'm a teacher and I don't want my students knowing my real name so I use Mike. Shoot me an email where you'd like to meet.
Me:
Sure!! What's your email address?
Roommate:
JustinLastName@UofA.edu
Me:
Wait, you don't want your students knowing your name is Justin but your teacher email says Justin?
Roommate:
Ja, I should change that.
Me:
And real quick, what's with the Ja?
Roommate:
It's French
Me:
Are you French?
Roommate:
No
Red Flag #2
So we meet up and he's fine. Nothing amazing, nothing terrible and luckily thanks to my dad's Liam Neeson type CIA skills we know he is not a terrorist so I decide to move with him. Now, when we met up for drinks he tells me he's a writer and I think that's awesome because I have published a book ::shameless plug:: plus I was an English major so I figured we'd have something common?? No no...he's a science writer for doctoral research in organic chemistry...I dont even know what any of those words mean.He doesnt own a TV and just has white boards around the apt with various formulas on them So now if you come to visit you can find me looking around the apt like this:
....and all I wanted was a place to hang up my Betty White calendar.
Stay tuned to see how this plays out...you know it's going to be interesting!!
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