The Stalker

Some people might call me an attention whore and they wouldnt be entirely wrong. Since birth, I have always craved the spotlight and whether it be sitting on the bar holding court or being on stage for work, the spotlight sort of suits me.

Even my closest friends know that a night out with me will consist of drinks and caddy chatter until the time comes where I find some elevated platform to dance on so I don't have to mixed with the unwashed masses. It's nothing against everyone else, and I'm not some sort of Step Up 2: The Streets move maker, it's just that I don't like dancing with everyone else. I have recently learned though, that not all attention is good attention. Submitted for the approval of the midnight societ- oh wait, wrong show.

BEST.SHOW.EVER

Since the start of this blog, I have been receiving fan mail in many forms. Letters, emails, tweets, texts and actual gifts from people thanking me for entertaining them one way or another and I think it is quite sweet. I honestly, blog to pass the time as I attempt to keep sanity while I wait out my sentence in Sudemerica. One particular person, has been a little too interested tho. We will call him Mike for all intentional purposes. From what I gather he is a 26 year old homosexual from middle earth America where they don't like gays all that much. He started writing to me around Christmas time and telling me that I was his inspiration for coming out. Now, I don't like to be any body's muse when it comes to things like this because I am not 100% sure that what I'm doing is the right thing so the last thing I want is to be queen of the glitterettes....no no, not my style.

It was my fault for instigating Mike on account of the fact that 1) he's actually quite attractive 2) I'm terribly fucking bored. So I responded to his first few nice albeit standard compliments of "You're so funny and sexy" and we began to correspond via email. Now, my email therealglitterblog@gmail.com is not my personal email and only my blog email. Many of you know my personal email but you'll notice I don't put it up here for specifically this reason. Mike and I have corresponded for several months and I do not know what it is about me but sometimes people grow quite attached quite quickly. Mike...is one of those people.

"How's the sexiest blogger in the world?"
I don't know, ask Orlando Bloom 

"You should come visit me in Memphis"
Been once, cold and rainy...it was August. No thanks

"If I moved to Tucson, could we be together?"

Now, I will be the first to admit that I am a GIANT virtual flirt. I have amazing work hours that are currently filled with sub par dates and too much downtime so I will of course, spend the extra few minutes emailing you and flirting with you...especially if you're telling me I'm the sexiest funniest person you know...I mean...c'mon...I'm not retarded. BUT...I will not ever give you false hope that I want to be with you in any capacity nor will I tell you that I think you should you move to Tucson so "we can be together" gross. what is this the Notebook?

So I started to retract my emails. I know enough not to go cold turkey because that just sends bitches crazy but little did I know that while I keep track of how many people read my blog...this crazy bitch kept track of how many emails a day we exchanged.

"Just wondering if I did something wrong, you're not emailing me as much"
Nope, just really busy with work ::crazypants::

"I was reading back on our emails and I noticed we had 4 last Thursday but only 1 today"
I know, work is just really busy. ::crazypants::

"You must be writing your blog. I know you're writing your blog because I can see you have a pending  draft so it must be the one that's coming out tomorrow. You must be on your computer then. Why won't you email me back".
::crazypants::

Now, I'm not into games. If I think someone is being led on by me...and I have boys that will attest to this...I will put everything in an email and let you know where we stand. So I did...and I thought that would be ok. It was a very nice email...too nice even.

"I think you're a very nice guy and I'm sorry I led you on. It was my fault for flirting back and it was very irresponsible of me..."

"I'm really appreciative that you like my blog but I can't let you think anything is going to become of this...I'm sure you'll find a really nice guy but that guy just isn't me"

Oh yea, I know what you're thinking...I'm a jerk and you're right I am...but this isn't even someone I've ever met!!! This isn't like you used to date or met for coffee or have even met in real life! This is a fan of your online blog.

For weeks I got no response and I was pretty OK with that. Obviously, I didn't want the kid to go hurt himself on my behalf...I mean...I'm full of myself but I'm a good person.

Finally, about 3 weeks ago, I get an email from him. I doesn't have RE: in the subject line so I'm not even sure if he's read my email. The body of email just says the following:

"I don't want anyone else. I want you and we will be together" 
-Mike 

Now OBVIOUSLY, I would not be writing this if I didn't contact my father who called his FBI/CIA/DEA/DIA/FCC/DOD/KFC buddies and have this problem handled. Nor, would I ever make the mistake of entertaining corresponding in depth with a fan of me or my blog in the matter of which I did. But when I see these people on social media be so OBSESSED with celebrities all I can think of is Brit Brit.

you say i'm crazy? I got your crazy