---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Advertisement:
Big thanks to the CW for sponsoring this blog!! If you haven't checked out the Carrie Diaries on the CW, you don't know what you're missing! From the writer of Sex And The City (who I know btw) comes the story of Carrie Bradshaw...before she was Carrie Bradshaw! Before she was a fashion icon, before her column in the New York Star, before Mr. Big, Carrie Bradshaw was an innocent 16-year-old girl living in suburban Connecticut. The year is 1984, and Carrie’s mother has just passed away over the summer, which means Carrie has to grow up fast. Her younger sister Dorrit is more rebellious than ever, and their father Tom is overwhelmed with the responsibility of suddenly having to care for two teenage girls on his own. Carrie’s friends – sweet, geeky Mouse; sarcastic and self-assured Maggie, and sensitive Walt – make life bearable, but a suburban life in Connecticut isn’t doing much to take her mind off her troubles. Even though the arrival of a sexy new transfer student named Sebastian brings some excitement to Carrie’s world, she is struggling to move on from her grief. So when Tom offers Carrie the chance to intern at a law firm in Manhattan, she leaps at the chance.
 |
| Every Monday at 8/7c on the CW! Check your local listings! |
Every girl has a story and I figured the most special girl in my life, my sister, deserves a chance to tell hers. I asked her to write a blog post for you...about me. I mean c'mon, I love her and all but this is my blog...plus I feel you deserve you to see things from the eyes of the only person who has known me longer than I've known myself. So without further adue...Kerri Doherty!
----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
See the way he does that? How he says something really nice about me but then somehow, someway it becomes about him...welcome to the story of my life! From the get go I wasn't at all thrilled about having a baby brother. I was the first girl in the family of all (albeit some gay) males. So when the first Doherty girl arrived, to say that I was spoiled would be an understatement. I used to get track suits from Neiman Marcus, brand new dresses all the time and since I was bald until I was 2, pretty headbands with bows on them so people wouldnt tell my parents what a cute boy they had. Then in November of 1986, it all changed with the arrival of William Francis Doherty (they changed his name to Sean Patrick later). All of sudden I was out of the spotlight and this little premature mutant showed up and completely wrecked my only child royalty. That December I hatched a plan (I was 2 remember) and took my brother's car seat and put him under the Christmas Tree and left him there...for hours. My mother thought he was with my father and my father thought he was with my mother and I was waiting to give Santa his own present! While I was waiting, I shook the tree and maybe a few bulbs broke on his head...the evidence is inconclusive.
 |
| True Story |
Fast foward several years and I have my own personal shadow. I couldn't go ANYWHERE without Sean tagging along. My dance class? Sean signed up for even though my dad wanted him to play Pop Warner. Gymnastics? Sean was in my class because he didnt want to play basketball like all the other boys at the YMCA; and don't get me started on Girl Scouts. Ok, actually, let me start on Girl Scouts. You would think that might be the one place I could go and not be near my brother? Nope. Mom was a Troup Leader and Dad was busy playing James Bond saving Bosnia so Sean had to come to the meetings. It would have been fine if all my friends didnt think he was so adorable with his flat top hair cut and paracuite pants....luckily I would never have to worry about him hitting on them (read: dance class and gymnastics).
In school, I could have taken a second job as a security guard because I spent 90% of my time in school beating up kids who made fun of my brother. Since I was the older sister and since we went to the same school, a day barely went by when Sean didnt sneak out of his class to come knock on my class door to tell me so and so beat him up or was making fun of him...I have plenty of embarrising stories about him but I promised I wouldnt tell any...like the time he shit his pants in the second grade...not even going to mention it.
High School was a fucking treat let me tell you. I went to an all girls private school and my brother went to an all boys school. While we did run a very lucrative dating service since we were the only ones in high schools with cell phones, my dating life was pretty much non-existent. Actually, no, it was existent...it was just expensive. My parents wouldnt let me go on dates alone so guess who came to chaperone...my younger brother! 3 tickets to the movies please, 3 passes for the subway to go into Boston and a table for 3 at TGI Fridays. It got to the point where my boyfriends would pay him to leave us alone but the little fucker was also getting paid by my parents to watch us!! It wasnt like he had any friends, the kid used to dress like a 50 year old lesbian...whatever. Finally, we both ended up at the same co-ed highschool for my senior and his junior year. Me, the popular cheerleader with cool friends and an actual reputation and Sean, the drama geek who used to get teased by the hockey team. At this point, I was so fed up with homophobes that I started just beating them up. My favorite memory was when I overheard one of Sean's "girlfriends" talking about how upset they were that he was getting made fun of and the look on their face when I came out of the stall was priceless. "You tell Steve that when that bell rings, he better run. He better fucking run or I will find him and kill him. Nobody talks shit about my brother...run along now." The bell rang and I swear to God I never saw a kid run so quickly. I chased him through the hall, out into the parking lot where one of my besties was waiting in her car and we highspeed chased him into a Walgreens parking lot where I subsequently kicked his ass....I warned him.
After highschool we became very close. We both went to BC, had the same group of friends and just really just got along...then something happened...Sean Patrick Doherty turned 21 and became GLITTER.
 |
| MY JACKET, MY BRACELETS...his glue |
Now, don't get me wrong, I love my brother and am so happy with his accomplishments. But, do you know what it's like to always have to go into your brothers room to look for your bronzer? Do you know what it's like to find your Victoria's Secret sequins pants in his laundry? Have you any idea what it's like to explain to your new boyfriend "My brother might be coming home at some point tonight and he MIGHT be in a unitard, heels, and a wig...it was for a charity event." Probably not. At this point, I'm so used to it and it doesnt phase me at all...what does bother me is going out and finding people who only know me as "Glitter's Sister". Ohhh you're Glitter's Sister!?! Um, no I have a name thanks. It got even worse when my family caught onto the Glitter thing..."So if he's Glitter...does that make you Sparkles?" No Grandpa, pretty sure we're not hookers. And now I deal with this blog. This thing has gone INTERNATIONAL and people who I never even knew had heard about my brother ask me about his blog. "Omg you're brother's so funny and talented" "It must be so awesome to have a famous brother" or when your dad goes "I'm not worried about Sean, he has talent." "Have you met my children? Sean?" I have multiple black belts, 2 degrees from Boston College, I went to law school and have financially supported GLITTER for years so yes, I am happy for my brother but I mean c'mon.
He treats me like his personal assistant constantly. "Have you booked my flights yet? Did buy Gram a birthday present from me? I'm going to be in Europe next week, can you teach me Italian?" Now that he lives away from home, every visit is like THE SEAN SHOW WORLD TOUR. He Beyonce's it into town with an itinerary and who do you think drives him around to all these appearences? Oh yea, me. Who do you think brings multiple outfits for him in the car to the airport so he doesnt have to check bags? This chick. And who has to put up being referred to as the Solange to his Beyonce by EVERYONE WE KNOW?! That would be me. Sometimes I feel like I should just start wearing men's clothes randomly out and see if people that's awesome too but I'm pretty sure people would just think I'm a lesbian. I could do what brother did and just start gluing random things he found onto his face and wear them out but I'm pretty sure my dad would check me into a mental institution, but somehow, it works for him.
If you ever wonder why my brother is remotley down to earth, you can thank me. I credit myself as the only person who can deal with his giant ego and basically tell him "Calm the fuck down, take off your makeup...and my pants...and sit down like a normal person." If you think he's high maintence in public? Try living with him!! No really, he bitches about his roommate all the time...how do you think his roommate feels coming home to my brother prancing around the apartment in short shorts, fur hats and glitter??
 |
| Yup...just another day in the life of GLITTER |
No comments:
Post a Comment